[olug] (OT) Any good April Fools jokes planned?

[Charles Bird]

Something I used to do in some chat rooms, was paste the first 7-15 lines of
"iloveu.vb" in chat. Peoples firewalls would catch the code and drop the
connection, at the time, maybe 2005, it would drop 75% of the room.

heeheeheeeehee




On Wed, Mar 31, 2010 at 4:34 PM, Will Langford <unfies at gmail.com> wrote:

> I'm friend of a friend of the original BOFH writer.  Always a good read :)
>
> -Will
>
>
> On Wed, Mar 31, 2010 at 2:50 PM, Roger Hubbard <hubbardroger at msn.com>
> wrote:
>
> >
> >
> >
> > When UseNet was the rage,
> > the BOFH doc was posted every month..
> >
> > Here is a couple of excerpts from one of the postings.
> >
> > ###########
> > Still Birthing the Bastard Operator from Hell.. (Bored #3)
> >
> >
> > I'm bored.
> > So I fill in a couple of hours by killing users off and deleting their
> > files, then waiting for them to call...
> >
> > "Um, I can't find my files" the wimpering simp on the phone says
> >
> > "Files? What files?"
> >
> > "The files in my account. My thesis, my research - all gone!"
> >
> > "Gone ay? What's your username?"
> >
> > I make vague clicking noises my dragging the quicklimed man's fingers
> back
> > and forth across the keypad.
> >
> > "Uh-huh" *drag drag* "Yeah.." *dragedy poke* "AH! - You haven't got any
> > files"
> >
> > "I KNOW!"
> >
> > "Well, what are you calling ME for?
> > We don't make the files you know, we just look after them.
> > And chopitty-chop too, your thesis looks like it's due in a couple of
> > days.."
> >
> > I hang up - he'll call back.
> > Meantime I open up a copy of "VMS BASTARD OPERATORS MANUAL FROM HELL"
> > I'm reading the article I sent in about getting rid of those trouble
> > users...
> >
> > "... Modify the user's password minimum from 6 to 32 letters, give the
> > password a 1 day lifetime, set it so that they HAVE to use the password
> > generate utility when they change their password (so their password will
> > always be something that looks like vaguely pronouncable line-noise), add
> a
> > secondary password with the same as the above, then redefine their CLI
> > tables so that the only command that works is DELETE, and all other
> commands
> > point to it."
> >
> > Beautiful. Shit I'm good.
> >
> > He calls back.
> > "MY FILES ARE GONE!" he screams, panicking.
> >
> > "Did you have a backup?" I ask, as sweet as pie
> >
> > "But that's what you people are supposed to do!" he sobs
> >
> > "Yeah, well we did - but then we switched to those 8mm tapes, and they're
> > the same size as the ones in my video camera, so I've been using them to
> > tape the neighbour's sex romps..."
> >
> > I hear the revolver go off, but what the hell, it's 5pm, and not my
> > problem...
> >
> >
> > ###########
> >
> > Another user rings.
> > "I need more space" he says
> >
> > "Well, why not move to Texas?" I ask
> >
> > "No, on my account, stupid."
> >
> > Stupid? Uh-Oh..
> >
> > "I'm terribly sorry" I say, in a polite manner equal to that of Jimmy
> > Stewart in a Weekend Family Matinee Feature
> > "I didn't quite catch that. What was it that you said?"
> >
> > I smell the fear coming down the line at me, but it's too late, he's a
> > goner and he knows it.
> >
> > "Um, I said what I wanted was more space on my account, *please*"
> >
> > "Sure, hang on"
> > I hear him gasp his relief even though he'd covered the mouthpeice.
> >
> > "There, you've got *plenty* of space now!"
> >
> > "How much have I got?" he simps
> >
> > Now this *REALLY* *PISSES* *ME* *OFF*!
> > Not only do they want me to give them extra space, they want to check it,
> > then correct me if I
> > don't give them enough! They should be happy with what I give them *and
> > that's it*!
> >
> > Back into Jimmy Stewart mode.
> >
> > "Well, let's see, you have 4 Meg available"
> >
> > "Wow! Eight Meg in total, thanks!" he says, pleased with his bargaining
> > power
> >
> > "No" I interrupt, savouring this like a fine red at room temperature,
> with
> > steak, extra rare, to follow; "4 Meg in total.."
> >
> > "Huh? I'd used 4 Meg already, How could I have 4 Meg Available?"
> >
> > I say nothing. It'll come to him.
> >
> > "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhH!"
> >
> > I kill me; I really do!
> > ######################
> >
> >
> >
> > On Mar 30, 2010, at 12:10 PM, Kevin D. Snodgrass wrote:
> >
> > > Any body going to upside-down-ternet their (l)users Thurs?
> > >
> > > Any other good tricks to play on (l)users?
> > >
> > >
> > > Kevin D. Snodgrass
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
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> > >
> >
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