[olug] [OT]: Why tech support people drink so much...

[Timothy Goshinski]

*Art Jonak at ArtJonak*

Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a
punctuation mark, a gang sign, an extinct reptile and a hieroglyph.

  --=
                =--
Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. -* Edward
Abbey*



On Thu, Oct 11, 2012 at 12:10 PM, Kevin D. Snodgrass
<kdsnodgrass at yahoo.com>wrote:

>
> > Tech support:  What kind of computer do you have?
> > Customer:  A white one...
> > ****************************
> >
> > Tech support:  Click  on the 'my computer' icon on to the left
> > of the screen.
> > Customer:  Your left or my left?
> > ****************************
> >
> > Customer:  Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
> > Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.  I've even
> > lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but
> > the computer still says he can't find it..
> > ****************************
> >
> > Tech support:  What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
> > Customer:  A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
> > ****************************
> >
> > Customer:  My keyboard is not working anymore.
> > Tech support:  Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
> > Customer:  No. I can't get behind the computer.
> > Tech support:  Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
> > Customer:  OK
> > Tech support:  Did the keyboard come with you?
> > Customer:  Yes
> > Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
> > ****************************
> >
> > Customer:  I can't get on the Internet.
> > Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password?
> > Customer:  Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
> > Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was?
> > Customer:  Five dots.
> > ****************************
> >
> > Tech support:  What anti-virus program do you use?
> > Customer:  Netscape.
> > Tech support:  That's not an anti-virus program.
> > Customer:  Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
> > ****************************
> >
> > Customer:  I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen
> > saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it
> > disappears.
> > ****************************
> >
> > Tech support:  How may I help you?
> > Customer:  I'm writing my first email.
> > Tech support:  OK, and what seems to be the problem?
> > Customer:  Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how
> > do I get the little circle around it?
> > ****************************
> >
> > A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with
> > her printer.
> > Tech support:  Are you running it under windows?
> > Customer:  No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
> > point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
> > window, and his printer is working fine.
> > ****************************
> >
> > Tech support:  Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape
> > keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle
> > of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program
> > Manager.
> > Customer:  I don't have a P.
> > Tech support:  On your keyboard, Bob.
> > Customer:  What do you mean?
> > Tech support:  'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.
> > Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
>
>
> Kevin D. Snodgrass
>
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